


A New Bond

by ShadowyStar



Series: Living In Daylight [1]
Category: Coldfire Trilogy - C. S. Friedman
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Scene, And Then He's Not, Fluff and Angst, Gerald Tarrant Is Bad At Feelings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 12:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2621390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowyStar/pseuds/ShadowyStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A single word can change everything.</p>
<p>Originally posted on fanfiction.net Sep 22, 2006</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Bond

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own the Coldfire trilogy. It belongs to C.S. Friedman. I do own this story. Characters, places, locations and organizations not appearing or being mentioned in the books are also mine.

* * *

You stand there, before me. You stand there so easily as if the conversation we’ve had were a simple talk about weather. What you’ve told me seems impossible and still – there’s no need for me to believe it. I _know_ it’s true. Somehow I always knew. And though your face is that of a stranger, you are _not_ a stranger to me. Your name doesn’t matter. I know who you are. I _recognize_ you. After all what we’ve gone through, after all what we’ve become I would recognize you among millions. I look at you, right into your eyes –black as night, now clouded with emotions I can’t define– and I see that you remember, too. The warm summer wind plays with a loose strand that somehow escaped your long braid, and I wish… I wish for too many things impossible.

We stand here, no longer bound, our minds no longer linked together, with no possibility for me to know or even to guess at how you feel. Just two strangers. No more, no less. You look at me, intently. The color of your eyes might have changed but the expression itself didn’t. Not in the slightest. What are you looking for?

The silence lengthens between us. All is said now and yet – is that hesitation in your eyes?

“Go,” I say as steadily and calmly as I can manage though deep inside I feel it tearing me apart. To voice that one little word seems to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I know I owe you that much. There’s no point in pretending this to be something different than an end. Just one more second and you’ll be leaving forever. And I’ll let you. This is how it should be. It almost breaks my heart but it’s true. You have a new life to live. And there’s no place for me in it. I return your gaze, hoping you can’t read what I’m thinking right now. But when was I able to hide something from you?

I see the smooth surface of your eyes shatter and behind it I sense comprehension and … more, perhaps? Relief? Happiness?

“No,” you say. Smiling. A true, wide smile that reaches your eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

And then you step in closer, and I hold my breath, not daring to hope... You lean forward, and I feel your breath on my face.

“Not without you,” you whisper, and I can see the pulse in your throat racing, just above the collar of your silk shirt.

Your lips on mine are warm and their touch –light and soft as a breeze– burns every reason out of me. I can’t stop my arms from rising, my hands from stroking your back. I pull you closer, carefully, because your bone structure is much more fragile than mine and the strength in your slender arms is merely human now. I don’t want to hurt you. Your hair feels exactly how I imagined it to be – strands of black liquid silk beneath my fingertips. I run my tongue across your bottom lip and feel you breathing my name against my mouth. I don’t know for how long we’re kissing –minutes? hours? months?– but I draw back before the need to explore your body more closely right here, on the observation deck with crowds of tourists standing all around, gets the better of me. You sigh a protest, very quietly. I feel a smile break over my face at that and press light kisses against the smooth skin of your cheek and temple.

I offer you a hand as I did so many times in the past, and you take it. Your long fingers entwine with mine, not letting go. Finally, the realization of what have happened breaks through. I know this new bond will be forever, and the intense happiness of that thought causes me to gasp for breath. Because, finally, I know how you feel.

You smile at me again –that infuriating, arrogant little smile of yours I once found unnerving– and I can’t help laughing.

“What’s so funny?” you ask, your eyes twinkling brightly with affectionate challenge.

“Nothing,” I say, and kiss you again before we turn to leave.

Behind us, the shadows of the Forest are burning, leaving room for other, wonderful things to grow.

 

_FIN_


End file.
